My Gender Reassignment Surgery

My Gender Reassignment Surgery

“History is fast becoming Herstory.”
Justin Cohen

WHY I’M THINKING OF HAVING A SEX CHANGE

As we celebrate women’s day this month in South Africa I found myself wondering what all the fuss was about. Women aren’t another species, like the endangered African Grey Parrot, necessitating solemn tribute. If anything, I always thought the differences between men and women were overrated. Even if one of my female friends assured me that “Women are from Venus, men are from hell.” Turns out, she may have a point. There are some major differences and they’re not very flattering – to men.

  • A man is ten times more likely to commit murder, nine times more likely to go to prison and nearly twice as likely to die in a car accident, (the next time he disses your driving just remind him who’s more likely to get home alive.)
  • Two years ago women became the majority of the workforce in the U.S.A. More women are now managers, (perhaps it’s time we changed the word to: “womanagers”) For every two men who get a university degree, three women will.
  • Women are better soldiers because they complain about pain less, (even though they feel it more). They’re better managers because they’re more empathic and communicative. And the latest research shows that they’re better investors because they’re less impulsive and risk taking.

Turns out Marilyn Monroe was right: “Women who seek to be equal to men, lack ambition.” Fortunately sex change operations are becoming safer, but perhaps there’s a cheaper option for the dumber sex – learn from women. Here’s my five step plan:

1)    To men, listening means: waiting for our turn to speak. But listening is the key to building empathy. Practice active listening. Once they’re finished speaking, paraphrase back what you’ve heard. This not only clarifies your understanding it demonstrates that you haven’t just been doing mental replays of Saturday’s game.

2)    The biggest complaint that women have about men is that we don’t express our appreciation. Women are better at saying thank you. That’s not just sweet, it’s good leadership. The number 1 reason people leave a job? Lack of recognition. When you see someone doing something well, tell them. What get’s rewarded, get’s repeated.

3)    Ready to kill that guy for tailgating you? Take in a deep breath and think about the consequences. Your testosterone is telling you that you’re bigger and stronger, so is his. Blood is likely to spill from both directions.

4)    If that investment just seems too good to be true, it probably is. Take a day to think about it. Nothing wrong with taking a risk but make sure it’s calculated.

5)    Write cute blogs about how much better women are. That way they might favour you when they take over the world.

Men have around 90% more testosterone than women, that’s partly why we’re more impulsive and aggressive. It worked for our cavemen ancestors who survived by tooth and claw while the women stayed at home caring for the babies. In a more civilized society our animal instincts are letting us down. Women don’t need their own special day, men do; with women gaining in education, income and leadership we’re fast becoming the endangered species.

In the new world every day is women’s day – happy women’s day!

 

 

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Comments (6)

  1. Justin :

    Thank you Natasha, glad you enjoyed it!

  2. Natasha :

    A breath of fresh air Justin, and a good giggle!

  3. Justin :

    Thank you Anastasija, I hope never to be in a position to tell you what it’s like 🙂

  4. Justin :

    Hello JC, I’m sorry you found the blog offensive. I meant it to be a humorous take on gender differences. I actually think that the differences between men and women are less important than they’re made out to be. However you are right that men’s superior physical power means that they are able to do a lot of difficult and dangerous work that women generally can’t. (Camile Paglia made this point eloquently in a Time Magazine article recently, reminding us that we should be grateful to them for it.). I think what you’re seeing in the media is a backlash to the previous dominance of men in society. Not long ago women like children, were barely seen or heard. That was a great loss to both women and men. Thanks for letting me know how you feel and once again, apologies for offending you. Regards, Justin

  5. JC :

    I’m very disappointed at your article. As working man, veteran and responsible father , I get very irritated with the amount of male bashing that goes in the media and in the workplace. Let me remind you that the most important and noteworthy inventions were created by men. When it’s time to go to war and face the dangers of combat, men volunteer without thinking it twice. Most famous chefs are men. Even today, when woman have the same freedom to innovate as men do, most major innovations are created by men. The is a reason why nature created men with more testosterone than women. Every ad I see on TV nowadays excludes men as part of the family nucleus and all the credit is given to women. Both genders have an important place in society and it’s time to stop stereotyping men as the moron of the family that can’t even make a piece of toast. The fact that less men are getting college degrees should not an indicator of less ambition but one of men are looking for other options to corporate stress and uncertainty. Also, please research the source of your stats because I have also noticed that most of these are published by women. One last thing, if you haven’t noticed, when a woman is unfaithful, it’s usually swept under the rug or somehow the man is blamed. Again. as a longtime male subscriber to your newsletter and always looking forward to your inspiring quotes, I FEEL VERY DISAPPOINTED !

  6. Anastasija :

    This was such an impressive article. I’m very happy to have found this blog! I’m excited to find the author’s books, in general, and read more about the gender reassignment surgery, in particular.

    5 stars.